When I was close to having the baby I said that the one thing that I wanted was for him to eat. And that he did. I felt that as long as he was fed that everything would be fine. Now I know I should have also wished that he would sleep. There is no way to describe the level of sleep deprivation that an infant provides. Actually things have started to improve now that I've started pumping breastmilk and Andy helps with night feeding. Something had to give, I was losing my mind.

Merritt is six weeks old now. He's begun to make a lot of cute little happy noises and has laughed a few times with a big smile on his face. He likes to look at you and talk; it's so fun to interact with him more and more.

Our watercooler has died and I'm trying to track down this incredible one I found in a Home magazine. It's modern chrome with a blue illuminated panel so it glows at night and a transparent chilled storage compartment which probably would be useless but tricky. We need a cooler soon though because I'm constantly dehydrated from breastfeeding.

Milestone: Last night we moved the bassinet from our bedroom to Merritt's room and set up the intercom system. He didn't sleep any more or less than usual but I slept much deeper apparently because I feel a lot more rested than I have in a while. The monitor is adjusted so that I hear him once he starts to cry softly, not when he is just making little noises which he often does.

Our friends Andy and Karen had their daughter Skylar on Friday, how wonderful! Now I think about them going through those first days as we did. So many wild emotions including profound happiness.

Merritt is losing his gorgeous dark hair as Andy did as a baby. It's going in the receding hairline pattern of an adult:



This is the photo that I think I will do a painting of eventually because it shows his perfect face so well.

Merritt had his one month doctors appointment yesterday and all was well. He is now 10 pounds 2 ounces which indicates he has gained a third of his bodyweight in a month. That kid is getting big thanks to Mama's milk. He's also got a sad but harmless little rash mostly on his face thanks to said milk because of the hormones it contains.

I had my dental checkup as well and was happily surprised not to have any cavities since pregnancy is supposed to weaken your teeth and I have been eating so much sugar and junk food since I got pregnant. Once my face starts breaking out again I will certainly stop, but for now I'll just keep enjoying my hedonistic diet. Hey maybe that's why I can't drop those last ten pounds!

Then this Friday I have an appointment with my opthamologist to see if he will green light the permanent eyeliner for me since I have eyelid sensitivity. If so I found a technician in Daytona that has been featured in Elle magazine who will do it for around $500. Though it is a permanent procedure, there will be fading and I will most likely have to get it touched up every seven years or so.

My first week back to work went well enough. Not easy but good.

I updated Merritt's site with more pictures: one month of life.

Whereas last season none of the contestants on America's Next Top Model seemed quite perfect enough, this time there are too many possible winners. Norelle, Eva, Ann, or Amanda seem the most likely to win. Although I really like Nicole.

Christi is here for the weekend and next week my mom will be staying with us. It's really nice to have help right now. Merritt is sleeping face down on Christi's chest right now. Sometimes that is the only position he wants to be in during the day. The swing we have for him usually works too.

I'm back to work and adjusting to having a baby that wants to be held and/or fed most of the day. He slept for six hours straight last night though! What a much appreciated milestone! And the other night another milestone: he pooped all over me.

Some of my favorite photos lately...of course my compositionally talented husband took them. Merritt with his mother who just got her hair cut and loves it:



Merritt and Hazel, a very small cat so you get the idea of how tiny this baby is:



And a great shot of a flower housing three of the baby tree frogs we've been inundated with since the hurricanes:



Close up:

Time has flown and I only have one more week of maternity leave. So next week will be no computer for me and more outdoor time with the baby.

It seems I might only be able to keep up with my 8 pm reality shows, America's Next Top Model and Survivor, and hopefully catch The Apprentice when I can.

You anticipate that a baby is going to be a ton of responsibility and change your lifestyle but you really have no idea until it actually happens. Each day is a learning experience and there is so much room to feel like you have screwed up somehow.

Mary and Maggie are visiting this weekend and have brought a cold with them. Andy and I are both popping echinacea and praying that the strong immune system of the breastfed baby theory proves true.

Jeanne came and went, bent the trees and flickered the lights but otherwise we survived. Now there seems to be an unspoken moratorium on tracking hurricanes and Andy took down the shutters to fill our house with light once again.

Merritt had two nights in a row where he woke every hour or half hour, it was hard but we got through it with only one freakout on my part. We tried to trace the cause (something I ate? growth spurt? interruption in routine?) but it may be best just to roll with it and not become too obsessed with knowing why he gets fussy. He's two weeks old now--when he makes it to one month I will have a glass of champagne and start pumping breast milk so Andy can enjoy feeding him too.

With a baby there is so much to learn, so much to do. I have to master trimming his sharp little nails but it's not as easy as it sounds.

Yesterday it struck me how much Merritt resembles my sister Christi when she was a baby.

Recovery from the C-section is going well, I hope. It's hard to judge whether I'm healing properly internally but the scar looks great and I feel fine. I'm annoyed that I'm not supposed to drive which makes me very dependent on others. I'm getting a pedicure today because I can't bend and reach that far. My back bothers me a lot because I'm not using my abdominals as much. I will have to be super careful when I return to yoga not to overdo it. But I need it for my back. Now I just do corpse pose everyday and that feels wonderful.

And how cool is it that I am only eight pounds away from regaining my prepregnancy weight. Thanks to no effort on my part except breastfeeding. I treated myself to some expensive nursing clothes from Babystyle.com.

Merritt is waking...